Anger, Resentment, Hope and Disappointment

How do you leave the past in the past when it forcibly enters your present?

I’m not really looking for an answer or a discussion about it. Just putting the question out into the universe. How am I expected to deal with this? After years of healing old wounds inflicted by people who don’t give a crap about how I may have turned out, they’ve come back to cause more pain? Could that really be the reason? Could that really be what they want to accomplish? Isn’t it enough that it took me this long to get to this place? Are you just curious to see if you can make me feel worse?

I’ve got news for you, buddy. I’m not fifteen anymore. I’m not ten. I’m not five. I’m not the girl who forgets things as they’re happening. I’m not the girl who dismisses her own instincts as trivial passing thoughts. I’m not the girl who silently cries herself to sleep. I’m not the girl who screams to herself as her car flies down the highway. I’m not the girl who devours a gallon of ice cream with a bag of Lays standing by. I’m not the girl who fakes being happy so no one will see she’s been crying all day. I’m not the girl who thinks you’re wonderful. I’m not the girl who will believe everything you say regardless of how hurtful your words or actions are.

And I am not the girl who will keep your secret for you.

Please keep that in mind when you enter my world again.